Self-esteem is important for everyone. It is how we think about ourselves, whether we view ourselves as a good person, who deserves love and support. So understandably Parents feel it is important to boost their child’s self-esteem.

Children who have a high self-esteem are confident and have a positive image of themselves. They can make good friendships easily and are confident with new people.

Some children develop a low self-esteem after a difficult time such as divorce, bereavement or being bullied and can’t seem to bounce back to their natural self. Teenagers with a low self-esteem can find it very hard to cope with secondary school, pressure from peers and society. These children and teenagers are more at risk of depression, anxiety, self-harming and other poor mental health.

Supporting your child to build their self-esteem.

• Show them how much you love them.

• Let them know you value their effort not perfection.

• Encourage them to voice ideas and opinions.

• Ask them about things they enjoy and find rewarding.

• Challenge how they view themselves.

• Spend quality time together.

• Lead by example, be positive about yourself and improve your own self-esteem.

  Six ways to boost your own self-esteem.

• Do something you love.

• Keep a diary of positives.

• Unfollow social media accounts that make you feel bad about yourself.

• Exercise and/or get out in nature.

• Set mini goals.

• Compliment others.

Resilience and Self-esteem go hand in hand. Children with high self-esteem can admit mistakes and learn from them, they can try new things and adapt to change. This is also what resilience is, that ability to bounce back when things in life don’t exactly go to plan. The ability to learn when things go wrong or when we make mistakes and the ability to change and have another go. Resilience is not about being tough. Its about taking care of ourselves and being positive. Optimism and Resilience go hand in hand.

Resilience can be nurtured, children learn resilience from watching. Here are some tips about nurturing your own resilience, so you can in turn nurture your child.

• Try and be positive.

• Appreciate your strengths.

• Remind yourself you have a choice about how you’re going to respond.

  Tips to build your child’s resilience

• Model resilience to your child.

• Support your child to make and build connections.

• Celebrate your child’s talents.

• Teach your child self-care.

• Nurture a positive self view.

• Support your child to cope when things don’t go to plan.

• Teach and support or child to give to others.

Self management is important for all of us and an important part of life for children to learn. Self management and self regulation skills need to be learn’t and parents play an important role.

Self management is recognising our emotions and managing our emotions and behaviours in different situations. Children behave differently when at school, at home, or playing with friends.

Important self management skills for children to learn are;

• taking responsibility

• being able to problem solve

• making choices and decisions

• planning and thinking

• organising time.

How do parents encourage self management?

• Model your own self management. How do you respond to challenges?

• Ask questions and talk with children. How are they going to manage themselves and their time? eg: “What have you done so far to get ready for school/bedtime?”

  “What will you need to organise for school/sports practice?”

  Asking these questions encourages children to think for themselves, practice decision making, planning, taking responsibility, organising time.

  In our busy lives, parents often end up organising their children and what they need for school/sports practice etc. We may feel it is quicker and easier and in the short term it may be but we aren’t actually teaching important skills our children need. In the long term as parents we are making more work for ourselves and actually doing our children a disservice.

• Let your child know that you have confidence in them to get organised and to get tasks done.

• Give your child space and time to get things wrong.

• LISTEN when your child is planning.

• Ask questions about their planning rather than telling them what to do.

• TAKE A STEP BACK! Let your child take on responsibilities. They might not do things the way we would do things but that’s OK!

• Encourage decision making by talking things through.

• Support your child by thinking through all the aspects and consequences of their decision. If they can talk about the decision with confidence and thoughtfulness your job is done.

  CONGRATULATIONS!