Being the Parent of a Neurodiverse child can feel like a Full Time job and often things that should be considered easy or even enjoyable, such as choosing a restaurant for dinner or visiting friends, are highly stressful.

Parent Burnout is physical, mental and emotional exhaustion from high levels of stress, from parenting. Parent Burnout happens when a parent feels overwhelmed on a day to day basis. Most parents don’t realise that they are experiencing Burnout.

Here are some Red Flags to look out for;

A parent feels like they are on an emotional roller coaster, they have a short temper and there is increased conflict in the family.

Low immunity - always feeling sick, tired and rundown.

Using food, drugs or alcohol to cope.

Feeling isolated or isolating yourself. A parent that may be consistently cancelling or not making plans with anyone.

No motivation for everyday tasks.

Self-care has stopped, emotionally, physically, spiritually.

Struggling to sleep, rest, relax.

A loss of self-identity, You know you should have hobbies but you don’t even know what you like anymore.

A negative self view, doubting abilities or feeling like a failure.

Mentally checking out, suffering memory loss, brain fog, finding decision making or taking action harder.

Showing signs of OCD

Feeling hopeless.

If any of this sounds like you or someone you love please get support from Family, Friends, Medical professionals or Parents Supporting Kids.

It’s less common for society to think about and take into consideration the challenges and struggles that Parents of Neurodiverse children face everyday. This often leads to Parents feeling mis-understood and not supported by medical professionals, schools, family members and friends. Even the Parents themselves put themselves and their needs to the background to solely concentrate on their children. Often marriages are put under strain because the main carer is so concentrated on supporting the Neurodiverse child.

Children deserve the best care that parents can give them but it is important that parents also remember self care and find support as well.

SOME COMMON CHALLENGES THAT SHOULD’NT BE OVERLOOKED.

High Levels of Stress - Parents can face high levels of stress everyday with tasks and activities that can be much more relaxed for other parents. Tasks such as wearing the correct school uniform and clothes in general, getting ready for school, eating and meal planning, managing emotions, visiting friends and family just to name a few.

Stigmatisation - Other people can have a perception of the neurodiverse child, parents and their parenting. This leaves Parents feeling unsupported, mis-understood, judged, isolated, humiliated. Parents can be stigmatised that they are incompetent and incapable of controlling and disciplining their child.

Parents can be seen as parents who have past on a bad gene so have made their child neurodiverse.

Self Stigmatising - Parents can unfortunately self-stigmatise themselves. This can lead to Parents suffering a fall in their self esteem, well being and mental health. Which can lead onto less quality care that their children receive and lead onto children’s well being, being damaged.

Less time for Self Care - Often Parents of Neurodiverse children leave their own health and enjoyment behind and focus entirely on their child.

Parenting a Neurodiverse child comes with mountains of joy mixed in with challenges that can lead to high levels of stress and a risk of parent burnout. Parents can start to feel that they have lost themselves.

SO? WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

Here are a set of questions that I feel are important for Parents to ask themselves and think about. I REALLY suggest having a go at this. Think about the questions, write what thoughts come into your mind. Put the questions to one side and come back to them again another time (maybe the next day). You’ll be surprised what comes to mind when thinking things through. Parents can also ask Family members and friends for their ideas (if you wish), it can be a good way to start some important and supportive conversations.

QUESTIONS TO ASK AND THINK ABOUT?

1. Who do you have for support? Community, Professional, Parents Group.

2. Who’s taking care of you while you take care of your child?

3. What are you doing to take care of you?

4. What are you setting up today to support your future self?

5. What more can you set up today to support your future self?

6. How are you making time for Self-Care?

7. How are you getting balance in your life?

Self care and wise thinking is a must!

It does sound obvious, however sometimes when we are busy and coping with high levels of stress, stating the obvious is what we need.

Here is a list of MUSTS when we are doing our best to cope and parent well.

• FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE - Keeping a Journal helps to:

• Boost your mood

• Enhance your well-being

• Reduce symptoms of depression

• WHEN THINGS ARE BAD RE-THINK THE SITUATION

• How important is it really that your child gets to Cubs that day?

• Choose your battles. In the big picture how important is it that they eat their dinner?

• ASK your child. What do they think is the best thing to do?

  STAY CONSISTENT AND ON SCHEDULE.

  I know this seems to contradict the previous point but it is all about taking one day at a time. Reaching our ‘Good Enough’ for that day.

• People on the Autism Spectrum especially like routine. This can support parents as well. Have a routine and schedule for you as well, so you can feel calm and know what to plan for.

• Budget more time to get things done. We all know that Neurodiversity can throw a spanner in the works and our Neurodiverse children can often have REALLY IMPORTANT stuff they HAVE TO DO.

• TAKE TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOUR WELLNESS

• FIND SUPPORT FOR YOU

• LEARN TO MANAGE STRESS

• Ask for help

• Take a break

• Physical exercise

• Meditation

• Talk to someone

• Take a bath