HELP! He’ll only eat plain Pasta!

Hi all,

HOORAY!! It’s March I cannot tell you how glad I am that the days are getting longer and the Daffodils are starting to poke their heads out of the earth.

Over the last month I’ve had a few messages from people asking about my ideas and help for areas of Parenting they are finding difficult. (For those of you that don’t know, I am happy to give free consultations on messenger. That sounds a bit fancy, basically if you have a question or are worried about something just send me a message. No need to book in for a one-to-one unless you think you would like to.)

I thought I would use this month's blog to answer a big question that several parents have asked me about ( I have already sent answers to the parents). I know for a fact that there are many of you out there in Parenting land that will be asking the same question. This topic is as old as time and important.

Question 1

Help! my child will only eat Jam sandwiches and Yoghurt!

This is a big one for parents and can be a huge worry full of guilt, especially when your wee darling has a cousin the same age that eats EVERYTHING!

A ‘fussy’ eater impacts on life daily. This blog is not going to be about how many vegetables you can hide in a Pasta sauce or how to make fruit into a smiley face. Those are good ideas though and believe me, I’ve tried them.

Meal times and children's eating can be a real battlefield for parents and there are often several worries going on,

"Is my child getting enough food to grow and be healthy?"

"What will he eat if he goes to a friend's house?"

"What will I be able to say to people if they ask me about his eating."

Also there are often Grandparents that are worried and can end up saying really unhelpful comments, even though they are just trying to help.

If this sounds like you I recommend that you do exactly the opposite of what you have been doing. I know this sounds really strange but it is a really good way to take the anxiety out of the situation.

Here are some ideas to try -

• stop talking about eating completely,

• think about what your child is eating over a week not just at each meal. Are they getting something from the 4 main food groups?

• Have family meals that are made up of the food that your child will eat. I know this sounds strange but it will help take the worry out of meal time. I would suggest doing this a couple of times a week. Get creative with it, make a family cheese board for dinner, have yogurt with a variety of toppings such as different cereals and fruits that could be put on top, put out a variety of breads, cheeses and vegetable sticks, everyone can have a cheese sandwich for tea. Make a platter of it that is put in the middle of the table and every one gets to do their own with whatever they like. If your child just has the yogurt and nothing else that is absolutely fine. The most important thing is that the stress is taken out of the meal time and it becomes a happy family time. Say nothing!! The important thing is that he is seeing that the family is eating a variety of foods.

• Have a night when you make dinner together. Make something you’d like your child to eat but also make something your child will eat and have an ‘opt out’ clause so there is no pressure.

• Try having a 'Picky Tea' this is when you make a variety of things your child will eat and things they won't eat. Put it all in the middle of the table and people get to choose what they want to eat. Again! It’s OK to, ‘opt out’.

• Have normal meals a few times a week and tell your child that's what's for dinner. If your child doesn't want to eat it that is no problem dinner is about having a happy time together at the end of the day. If they don't have the meal it is OK, they can have a cheese sandwich.

  I know all this sounds odd and probably not what you were expecting me to say but I think the important thing is for parents and children to feel calmer and there to be less anxiety for everyone at meal times.
  This is not going to be a problem that will be solved overnight and it might take years for your child to eat what everyone else eats. It’s important to take small steps to start with and not expect anything to change in a hurry.

  It is important to parent the child you have now not the child you 'think' you should have. Often if parents, parent the child they have now the child that they want to have comes quicker than they think.

  Children having problems with food and eating is extremely common.

  Take it from me, my little boy (who would only eat plain pasta) now loves curry and everything else and his sister will now eat Lasagne!